Friday, December 24, 2010

December 24, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, we can't get a new kitty because that would be wasting kitties.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

December 12, 2010

As we were returning to our seats following the intermission at The Nutcracker...

Imogen:  Mummy, maybe now we will see Alvin and the Chipmunks!

Friday, November 12, 2010

November 12, 2010

Me:  Imogen, it's time for your bath!

Imogen:  I don't want a bath.

Me:  But baths are very important; they make you clean and keep you from becoming stinky.

Imogen:  Yes, and if I don't have a bath, the other kids might say, "Eww, that's Imogen and she smells like a dirty coffee candy."

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

November 9, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, do you think that everyone has some little bit of autism?

Me:  You are wise, Imogen, I think you're probably right.

Imogen:  I don't think so.  I think everyone just has some little bit of diarrhea.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

November 7, 2010 round two

Imogen:  Mummy, you are going to be the daughter and I am going to be the Mummy.

Me:  Okay Mummy.

Imogen:  Yes, and now Julius will be the Grandad and Nanny will be the little sister.

Me:  Okay, I will try to keep track of that all, kiddo.

Imogen:  Not 'kiddo', you have to call me 'Mummy.'

Me:  Right.  Mummy.

Imogen:  And you need to give me the car keys, daughter, because I'm driving now.

November 7, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, did you know that it's your birthday on Thursday?

Me:  I did know that.

Imogen:  Did you know that you are going to be one hundred years old?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

November 4, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, that shooting star looks just like a helicopter!

Me:  Maybe it's a helicopter, then?

Imogen:  That's enough ridiculousness, Mummy.

Monday, November 1, 2010

November 1, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, did you know that I am just like a sloth?

Me:  No, I didn't know that.

Imogen:  Yes, I am.  That's because I snore like a sloth and I'm beautiful like a sloth.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

October 30, 2010

Imogen:  I'm Imogen Mouse and when I go to school I will say "I'm Imogen Mouse" and then my teacher will say, "eek, a mouse!" and I will squeak and everyone will be scared of me.

Me:  Wow, that sounds very interesting, Imogen.

Imogen:  But actually, I don't want to scare my friends so I will say, "I'm just a nice mouse, not a scary mouse"  and they will say, "oh good" and then we'll all cuddle and eat candy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

October 26, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, now that snow is here, it's Christmas!  Is Santa coming tomorrow?

Monday, October 25, 2010

October 25, 2010

Imogen:  Oh Mummy!  Winter is my my most beautiful season ever!  Maybe when you drive me to my dad's house we can have snowball fights with the other cars!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

October 24, 2010

The following took place while Imogen was hopping on one foot and producing rehearsed grunts.  

Imogen:  Jude, look at me!

Jude laughs giddily.

Imogen:  Jude, look at me!

Jude laughs hysterically.

Imogen:  Jude, look at me!

Jude falls down laughing, and snorts a little bit.

Imogen:  Oh Mummy, Jude is so funable!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

October 23, 2010

Imogen:  I put the spoons on the table, Mummy.

Me:  Aw, thanks Imogen.  We actually don't need spoons tonight, but that was so nice and thoughtful of you.

Imogen:  I'm sorry, Mummy.

Me:  Oh sweetie, you don't need to be sorry at all!  You didn't do anything wrong.  You were being so nice and helpful!  That's wonderful!

Imogen:  No Mummy, that's not why I'm sorry.  I'm sorry because you have to use the spoon because I said so.

I swear I do NOT speak to her like that.  Ack!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

October 21, 2010

In an effort to get Imogen to eat some lasagne tonight (not a favourite for her, because it involves a lot of foods mixed up and touching each other,) I was being extra silly in my requests.  Humor sometimes works. 

Me:  Imogen, you can choose to have three bites of your yummy chicken lasagne or you can have seven HUNDRED bites!   Which do you want?

Imogen:  Three.  You are not funny, Mummy, and I will not eat seven hundred bites.

Me:  Grandad would eat seven hundred bites, wouldn't you Grandad?

Grandad:  Oh yes.

Me:  That's because Grandad is almost SEVEN HUNDRED years old!!!

Imogen:  Mummy, you are ridiculous.  If Grandad was seven hundred years old, his head would have growed out of the roof.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

October 20, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, it's purple day so I need to do a purple pee.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

October 19, 2010, round two

Imogen:  Mummy, did you know that Snow White eated the bad apple and that is a thumbs down choice because she getted very sick and then she falled asleep and her friends, the dwarves cried and cried and then a prince comed and kissed her so she waked up?

Me:  Yes, I think I've heard that story, kiddo.

Imogen:  But Mummy, why didn't the dwarves take Snow White to the doctor?

Me:  Good question, Imogen.  I think that's what I'd want my friends to do for me if I was sick.

Imogen:  Me too, Mummy.  I think Belle should have taked Snow White to the doctor and then Snow White can kiss Belle to say thank you for helping me get better.

Me:  Imogen, I like the way you think.

October 19, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, look, the sun is coming up and the stars have fainted away!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

October 17, 2010

Me:  Hey Imogen, do you want to have a little nap while Julius is asleep?

Imogen:  No.

Me:  We could cuddle up together for a nap.

Imogen:  How about we just cuddle up together and be awake and tell each other how much I love you.

cue my heart, melting.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

October 16, 2010

Me:  Okay, there you go, kiddo.  Two piggie tails coming out the top, just like you ordered.

Imogen:  Let me see!

Imogen, looking in the mirror:  Oh Mummy, I have wonderful news!  I look just like a yak!

Friday, October 15, 2010

October 15, 2010 round two

Imogen:  Mummy, can I have sprinkles on my cupcake?

Me:  Sure kiddo, I'll just get them.  Here they a... OOPS!

Imogen:  That's okay Mummy.  And Mummy, when you spill sprinkles, I'll always be there for you.

October 15, 2010

Whilst driving in the car...

Imogen:  Julius, Mummy asked you to take a nap and you are not taking a nap.  That is a thumbs down choice.


Imogen:  Julius, it's very important for you to make thumbs up choices.  That's because then that makes you a big kid and proud of yourself.

Me:  That's a great way of explaining thumbs up choices, Imogen.

Imogen:  I know all about thumbs up choices.  Julius, if you don't start making thumbs up choices I'm going to call you a very bad boy and yell at you.

Me:  Um, do you think that would be a thumbs up choice, Imogen?

Imogen:  Maybe it's a thumbs sideways choice.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

October 14, 2010

Me:  What do you want to do after school today, Imogen?

Imogen:  Go to the Jube.

Me:  The Jube?

Imogen:  Yes, that's what I said.  I want to see Mama Mia with Hanan.

Monday, October 11, 2010

October 11, 2010 fundraising update

Thank you to everyone who contributed to Imogen's fundraising campaign for her brother.  There was a minor technical fault yesterday which closed the giving page a day early, but in fixing it, I've reopened it until the 14th for anyone who wanted to but missed out on donated.
At present, Imogen's fundraising efforts have gathered $575 for the Centre for Autism Services Alberta.  She's had donations from friends, family, and from people we've never even met.  It's been pretty amazing.  It's been amazing to see Imogen's determination (today at the playground, she was filling in another child on what she's doing, much to the bafflement of the other child...) and amazing to see what a fantastic bunch of people she and I know.
Thank you, everyone, from the bottom of Imogen's "sweet little big girl heart!"

October 11, 2010

Imogen:  Grandad, come play outside with me!

Grandad:  Okay, I'll be right there.

Imogen:  Hurry up!

Grandad:  I'm coming!

Grandad in arrives in the backyard.

Imogen:  Grandad, you took so long because your tummy is huge!  Actually, your tummy is enormous!

Friday, October 8, 2010

October 8, 2010

Last night, we had a little baby visiting us overnight.  Imogen shared her bedroom with the little one.  When the baby woke at 1230, crying, Imogen woke too.  She, Imogen, was very concerned about the baby.

Imogen:  Mummy, I think when this baby is saying WAHHHH and WAHWAH what she really means is "I miss my mummy so much and you just aren't her."

Me:  I think you're right, Imogen.

Imogen:  Yes, she likes us but she knows that we aren't her mummies and that makes her feel very sad.

Me:  Yes.

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm going to get my worry dolls and show her how they work so she can put them under her pillow and they will take her worries away and then she'll stop being so sad.

Me:  That is so nice of you, Imogen.  You are such a wonderful friend.

Imogen:  Mummy, it breaks my sweet little big girl heart when the baby is sad.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

October 7, 2010

Me:  Hey Imogen, what are you up to in Grandad's office?

Imogen:  I'm doing some important work, Mum.

Me:  Oh yeah?

Imogen:  Yes.  I'm clicking on the computer and I need you to leave.  I need my privacy.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

October 5, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, I don't know why Winnie-the-Pooh only wears a red shirt.  His bum is hanging out and that must make him feel very cold.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

October 3, 2010

Imogen:  Let's pretend that you're the kid and I'm the mummy.

Me:  Okay, sounds like fun!

Imogen:  Oh my sweet little girl, I love you so much!

Me:  Oh my sweet old Mummy, I love you so much too!

Imogen:  Do you need some coffee, daughter?

Me:  Yes, I do.  Can you get me some please?

Imogen:  Of course, my little dear.


Imogen (SHOUTING):  Nanny*, make some coffee for Kim!!!

*Nanny is what Imogen calls her grandmother.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

October 2, 2010

Imogen:  If I was a unicorn, I would stick my horn into a big tomato and blackberry tree and shake my head all around til my horn shaked down all the tomatoes and blackberries.

Me:  That sounds yummy.

Imogen:  Actually, Mummy, it sounds silly.  But it will sound yummy when you make me a cake with my tomatoes and blackberries.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

September 30, 2010

Me:  So Birthday Girl, what would you like for your Birthday Breakfast?

Imogen:  Apples and carrots, please.

Me:  Are you sure?  You can have anything you want for a birthday breakfast.

Imogen:  I'm five now, Mum, so I know I need to eat healthy food.  I want apples and carrots, okay?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Help Imogen's Brother Learn to Talk

Imogen returned to this topic today.  Apparently the charitable gift card she received really got her thinking.  She wants more birthday money to help her brother talk.  I can't tell you how huge my heart feels when I hear my little girl eager to advocate on her brother's behalf.

So I'm helping her out in her pursuit; I've set up a donation page on  Through it, you can make a birthday donation on Imogen's behalf to the Centre for Autism Services Alberta, the organization which is providing Julius's support at present.  They are a non-profit charity providing a variety of services to children with autism, helping them reach their fullest potential.

If you'd like to help Imogen in her fundraising efforts, please give here.  The page is open to October 10, 2010.  I'll post her fundraising total here on the 11th!

Thank you for your support, everyone!!!  Oh, and no post is complete without a direct quote from Imogen, so:

Imogen:  I think when Julius learns how to talk, he will be very funny.  And we will laugh a lot together.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

September 28, 2010

Imogen received an online gift card for Just Give today, in honour of her upcoming birthday.  I discussed what it was with her and the following was part of our conversation about charitable giving:

Me:  So it's tricky to understand, but you got a gift of some money to send to someone who really needs some help, maybe because they are sick or hurt or scared or just need some extra love.

Imogen:  That's not tricky, Mum.  That's just nice.

Me:  You are so right.  We looked at some of the charities you can send your money to.  Do you know who you would like to have your special birthday money?

Imogen:  Yes, I want to give it to Julius to help him learn to talk.

Yeah, it's right about there where Imogen's momma got very, very teary.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

September 23, 2010

Me:  I bet you can't take one really big bite of your sandwich, Imogen.

Imogen:  Yes I can!  (takes a big bite of sandwich.)

Me:  I bet you can't take two really big bites of your sandwich, Imogen!

Imogen:  Mummy, the dragon in the Paper Bag Princess is dumb, but I am not.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

September 22, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I think that Tinkerbelle might throw up.

Me:  Oh no, we'd better get her to the bathroom so she does it in the toilet!

Imogen:  Mum, Tinkerbelle is a toy.  She can't really throw up.  And if she did, she would rather pee in the toilet anyway.  Except that it's hard for her to sit on the potty.  I think maybe she needs a Turkish toilet.  That will be easier for her.

Me:  I thought you said she was a toy?

Imogen:  Toys only can pee and poo, not puke.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

September 21, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I love you.

Me:  Thanks, Imogen, I love you too.

Imogen:  But I love you more than anything.

Me:  That's how much I love you!

Imogen:  I think you might love your coffee in the morning a bit more, Mum.  Let's be serious.

Monday, September 20, 2010

September 20, 2010

Me:  That was a good book, should we have another one, Imogen?

Imogen:  Mummy!  I think you're getting a little bit out of control!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

September 19, 2010

Whilst driving through the Alberta prairie at sunset...

Imogen:  Mum, look at all those lights that are starting to poke out.  They're like... little pokey things.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

September 18, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I really liked seeing Brenda's beautiful paintings.

Me:  Yes, me too.

Imogen:  I also liked going to the library.

Me:  Yes, me too.

Imogen:  But Mum, I did not like your dress.

Friday, September 17, 2010

September 17, 2010

In the change room at the pool after a glorious swimming extravaganza:

Imogen:  Ollie, that is the cutest penis I have ever seen!

(Ollie looks baffled.)

Imogen:  My brother's penis is the best in the whole world.

I am SO glad that it was Ollie's Mama who was with us for this.  She's about the only person I know who could laugh instead of discretely dialing children's services...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

September 16, 2010

Imogen:  I am really glad that this fruit fly is not a brownie fly.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

September 15, 2010

Imogen, to her wailing brother:
JULIUS!!!  You have to stop all this grumpy behaviour right now!  Otherwise you are going to be just like me!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

September 14, 2010, round three

Imogen:  Mum, our family is not like other families.

Me:  Oh yeah, how's that?

Imogen:  Well, other families have mothers but I have a Mummy Pig.

September 14, 2010, round two

Imogen:  Guess what, Mum?!

Me:  What kiddo?

Imogen:  At school we went to a new park!  It's a park called recess!

September 14, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I couldn't eat in my pyjamas because I became crying.  But then I put on my clothes and everything felt better and my food wanted me to eat it again.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

September 12, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, I think that I really loved Auntie Bonnie's dragon in her basement called Sal E.

Me:  Yeah, it was really cool when we got to pet him, wasn't it?

Imogen:  Yes, and he did not breathe fire, that was a silly thing to say, Mummy.

Me:  Well, you know me.  Silly Mama, right?

Imogen:  Yes, silly you.  Did you know that I am that dragon's special princess?

Friday, September 10, 2010

September 10, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, I just don't know why that woman lives* in the children's library if she doesn't like children.  She needs to be nice to me, that library woman.  She needs a really, really big time out to think about her behaviour.

Me:  You are so right, kiddo.

*The concept of work has yet to gel for Imogen; she believes that people live wherever we encounter them.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

September 9, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, it's hard being us sometimes, isn't it?

Me:  Yes, it sure is.

Imogen:  So it's good that we love each other, right?

Me:  Absolutely.

Imogen:  Mum, you're the best mother I ever had.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

September 7, 2010 round two

In the car after school, Imogen was uncharacteristically quiet.  Though she doesn't always talk to me, she usually sings or tells stories.  Today, nothing, until this conversation, initiated by her.

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm not normal.

Me:  What does normal mean?

Imogen:  I don't really know but I'm not normal and I just want to be normal.

Me:  I think you're really great the way you are.  Can you tell me some more about what makes you want to be normal?

Imogen:  No.  I miss my friends in Turkey.*

*"I miss my friends in Turkey" is the script to which Imogen reverts to when she's overwhelmed by and unable to talk about emotions she's experiencing. 

Any suggestions for on how to talk to Imogen about this?  I'm heartbroken for her that she feels this way.

September 7, 2010

Today was Imogen's first day of kindergarten.  She is attending a special program called Socialization Kindergarten especially for children with disabilities.  The following scene unfolded in the cloak room at drop-off.

SLP (speech language pathologist): Look Imogen, there's Eloise*.

Imogen: Oh yay!  She's going to be my best friend.  Hi Eloise!

Eloise, to her mother: I like how that girl looks.


Eloise:  She's prettier than me and she doesn't like Hello Kitty.  Oh no, this is not good.

Imogen:  I like Hello Kitty and we are both the prettiest!  You're my best friend.

Eloise:  Oh, okay.  That's alright then.

*Eloise is not the child's actual name; I don't use names unless I've sought parental consent.

Monday, September 6, 2010

September 6, 2010

Me:  Imogen, you are so beautiful.

Imogen:  You're welcome, Mummy.

Friday, September 3, 2010

September 3, 2010

Via telephone (Imogen has gone to Calgary for the weekend with her father.)

Imogen:  Mummy, I really miss you so much.

Me:  Imogen, I miss you so much too.  And I love you so much.

Imogen:  My brother and my cat are crying for me, aren't they?

Me:  Yes, they are.

Imogen:  Tell them I love them and I will be back soon.

Me:  Okay, I will.

Imogen:  You might forget, Mummy.  Let me talk to my cat.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

September 1, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I have some very sad news.

Me:  What's that?

Imogen:  When Julius cries, it makes me cry inside too.

Monday, August 30, 2010

August 30, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, if you do very naughty things, I will have to put you in a time out and say, "You are never, ever allowed to have fun again."

Me:  Wow, that seems very harsh, Imogen.  Is that what you think I'm saying to you when you have a time out?

Imogen:  No, when you tell me to have a time out you say, "Imogen, you need to take a little break."

Me:  That's right, I do say that.  So where did no fun ever again come from?

Imogen:  That's because fun is only for kids.

Did someone show my kid the Trix commercial when I wasn't looking???

Sunday, August 29, 2010

August 29, 2010

Imogen, whilst trying a piece of playground equipment that previously had been too intimidating for her:

Mummy, I'm being very brave.  I'm also fearless.  And fashionable.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

August 28, 2010

Me: So tonight, you're having a sleepover party at Nanny's house.  Should we stop at the grocery store on the way and pick up a special dessert?

Imogen:  Oh yes!  That's a great idea, Mummy!

Me:  What would you like?  Maybe cake or chips?  Candy?  Cookies?

Imogen:  BACON!!!  That's the best dessert to me!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

August 26, 2010

Me:  Could you please come back to the kitchen and finish your yogurt, Imogen?

Imogen:  I don't need yogurt, Mum.

Me:  Well, honey, you do.  It's good for your tummy and good for your bones.

Imogen:  Actually Mum, my nipples make Immy-milk now and I'm just gonna drink that to help me grow big and strong, okay?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

August 24, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, did you know that last night I did not have any nightmares?

Me:  Is that right?

Imogen:  No, it's wrong.  I had some nightmares.

Me:  Do you want to talk about them?

Imogen:  Are you crazy, Mummy?  Nightmares are not for talking about!

Monday, August 23, 2010

August 23, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, do you know that when my pictures are in the art gallery in New York City everyone will say "hooray Imogen, you are amazing" and they will give me a blue ribbon?

Me:  That sounds wonderful, Imogen.

Imogen:  Yeah, and I'll say, "Thanks guys."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

August 21, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, I see a shooting star so you have to make a wish.

Me:  Okay.  I wish for someone really wonderful to love.

Imogen:  That's a very bad wish, Mummy.  You have to wish for the princesses at the ball or the sun exploding.

Me:  Oh really?  I can't wish for whatever I want?

Imogen:  I don't make the rules, Mum.  I just tell them.

Me:  Okay, I guess I wish for the princesses at the ball.

Imogen:  I wish for some gummi bears.

Me:  What about the rules?!

Imogen:  Rules are only for mothers.

Friday, August 20, 2010

August 20, 2010

Upon getting Nanny's voicemail when trying to call her at work: 

Imogen:  You crazy Nanny!  You can't keep sending me messages!  You have to talk to me!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

August 19, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, at the library party, a boy chased me so I ran!

Me:  Oh yeah?

Imogen:  Yeah.  I ran so fast like a cheetah.

Me:  That's fast.

Imogen:  Yeah.  It's fast like a peacock.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

August 18, 2010

Imogen:  What do you want to be when you grow up, Mummy?

Me:  An artist.  What do you want to be, Imogen?

Imogen:  A drag queen.

Me:  Oh yeah?  That's a fun thing.

Imogen:  Yes.  Or a soccer coach.

I think she should find a way to combine the two for the most fabulous sporty-chic career ever.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

August 17, 2010 round two

Imogen: I know Mummy, how about we have some water tea to help us relax?

Me:  Sounds delicious.

Imogen:  I'll just dip my teapot in the toilet to get us some water.

August 17, 2010

Me: Imogen, what do you want for breakfast?

Imogen:  Carpet bread*.

Me:  Do you want peanut butter and jam on it?

Imogen:  No, I only want peanut butter and jam in it and rolled up.

*Carpet bread is Imogen's term for a wrap.

Monday, August 16, 2010

August 16, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, I need help opening this bag.

Me:  Sure.  Can you try asking?

Imogen:  Yes.  Mummy, please can you help me open this bag?

Me:  Of course!  Great asking, kiddo!

(I reach for the bag.)

Imogen:  NO!!!  I'm going to do it by myself!!!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

August 12, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, Charlie is lost!

Me:  Who is Charlie, honey?

Imogen (exasperated):  Charlie is my pet fly, Mummy!  She came home from Calgary with me in Nanny's car and now she's lost!

Me:  Do you think maybe she stayed in Nanny's car to keep Nanny company?

Imogen:  No.  I think she stayed in Nanny's car and then Nanny killed her with a fly swatter.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

August 11, 2010 round three

Julius, I'm really sorry that I snatched that teddy bear away from you and made you cry.  But I am not so sorry that I'll give you a kiss and a hug because that is not what I want to do.  Now give me that teddy bear nicely.

August 11, 2010 round two

Me:  Imogen, please can you eat up your tomato sauce?

Imogen:  Sorry ma'am, but that isn't going to happen.

August 11, 2010

Imogen was in the hotel pool and was presented with an inflatable palm tree by our friend T.  T helped her configure the palm tree such that Imogen could float and propel herself.

Imogen:  Mummy, Mummy!  Look at me!  I'm swimming all by myself!

Me:  You are!  That's awesome, Immy!

Imogen:  It's a dream come true!

Monday, August 9, 2010

August 9, 2010

Do you think I can have a pet crocodile for my birthday, Mum?

Friday, August 6, 2010

August 6, 2010

In response to my singing and dancing:

Mummy, if you keep singing that song then I will have to tell you to find a new song.  Or just stop.  You're a very bad singer, Mummy.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

August 5, 2010

Following her research session at the Autism Research Centre:

Imogen:  Mummy, did you see how good of a guinea pig I was for them?

Me:  Yes, you did so well, kiddo!  I was so proud of you!

Imogen:  Yes, I did Mummy.  And that's because I am the best rodent ever.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

August 3, 2010

Imogen:  Mum?

Me:  Yes.

Imogen:  I love you so much that I feel like a little chicken.

Monday, August 2, 2010

August 2, 2010

Imogen kept clearing her throat, over and over today.

Me:  Imogen, do you have a little frog in your throat?

Imogen:  No, but I have a lizard in my mouth.

Friday, July 30, 2010

July 30, 2010

Me:  Imogen, do you know what you would like for your birthday?  You've told me about what you want for your party, so we've booked that, but what kind of present would you like?

Imogen:  I would like a ball of string, Mummy.

Me:  A ball of string?

Imogen:  Yes, a ball of string.  That is what I would like.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

July 29, 2010 Round Two

Imogen:  Mummy, these mosquitoes are driving me to acorns!

Me:  Yup, they're driving me nuts too, kiddo.

Imogen:  But why do they have to keep driving me and driving me and driving me?  I hate acorns!!!

July 29, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, my brother is a boy brother.

Me:  Yes, that's true.

Imogen:  But I want a girl brother.

Me:  Why's that, honey?

Imogen:  Well, because Oliver is a girl brother and he is more fun.  He still has a yucky penis like Julius does, but he's also a girl.  That's why I love him.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

July 28, 2010

Imogen:  I'm gonna marry Mulan and Cinderella and Belle and Aurora and Snow White.  No, actually Mum, you have to marry Snow White, okay?

Me:  Okay.  Why do I have to marry her?

Imogen:  Because I want her to be my better mum.

Me:  I see.

Imogen:  And I'm not going to marry Ariel, okay Mum?

Me:  Okay.  Why's that?

Imogen:  That's because I really don't want to turn into a mermaid.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

July 27, 2010, Round Two

Imogen, leaving a message on her grandad's voicemail:  Hi Grandad, it's Imogen.  And Imogen is leaving a message and it says that Imogen loves you.  That's all.

Me:  That was very nice, Imogen.

Imogen:  Yes, I told Grandad that I need him to look after Jude so we can go on the ferris wheel at Fort Edmonton Park.

July 27, 2010

Imogen:  Last night when I was sleeping then there was lots of ambulances and firetrucks and school buses.

Me:  Oh yes, I heard the sirens too.  I didn't know there were school buses though.

Imogen:  Oh yes, lots of school buses.

Me:  Did you see them out your window?

Imogen:  No, Mum.  I heard their sirens going wooo-wooo.  That was how I knowed it was school buses and ambulances and firetrucks.

Monday, July 26, 2010

July 26, 2010

Mummy, I'm making the very best rainbow picture of New Zealand because that's where all the best rainbows are.  And also because I love flags and rainbows and Zealands but not the old ones.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

July 25, 2010

Imogen:  Mum, I want to have my birthday party at the art gallery.

Me:  That sounds like a great idea.

Imogen:  Yes, because it has lots of room for people to bring me lots of presents.

Friday, July 23, 2010

July 23, 2010

Mummy, I need some of those vitamins that make my tummy crunchy.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 22, 2010

Imogen:  Mummy, do you what was the problem with that parade?

Me:  Erm, what?

Imogen:  I wasn't in it.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

July 21, 2010

Imogen: I getted a firetruck book from a fireman, Mummy.

Me: Cool, Imogen. How did that happen?

Imogen: Well, I was singing a song like this:

                 Firetruck, firetruck, you make me so happy that I'm happy and then firetruck, firetruck sometimes I think you're too quiet.

And then the firetruck came racing to my house and the fireman gived me a colouring book with stickers in it.

Me:  Wow.

Imogen:  Yes, the firetruck heared my beautiful song and wanted to say thank you.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

July 17, 2010

4am. My bedroom.

Imogen: Mummy, I think it's time for breakfast.

Me: No, Imogen, it's time to go back to sleep. It's still nighttime.

Imogen: Mummy, let's play a little game called pretend.

Friday, July 16, 2010

July 16, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, you're better than sushi.

Me: Thanks Imogen. I liked the book we read about how much we love people too.

Imogen: You're even better than having a nice poo, Mummy.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

July 15, 2010 round three

Imogen was extra prolific with her insight today...

Me: Oh Imogen! That's a nasty bruise on your leg. Did you fall down at zoo camp?

Imogen: Mummy, that is NOT a nasty bruise. That is not a bruise. That bruise is just a happy purple smile.

July 15, 2010 round two

Hey look, Mum! Some little mosquitoes comed to visit us and want to say, "We're so sorry that we sucked your blood." Now they decided that they are only eating fruit.

July 15, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, I think that I could bring Stellaluna the fruit bat to zoo camping and she would love to be startled by the sea lion who leapt into the hallway.

Me: That was pretty cool. We were so surprised when the sea lion startled us, weren't we?

Imogen: Yes, and Stellaluna would like that.

Me: Why would she like that?

Imogen: That's because fruit bats think sea lions are happy like elephants.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

July 13, 2010, round two

Imogen: I wonder what's the name of this frozen corn?

Me: I don't know, what do you think it is?

Imogen: I think its name is Really Special Frozen Corn.

Me: That's a nice name.

Imogen: Actually, I think its name is Really Really Special Frozen Corn.

Me: Are you telling me that you really like this corn, Imogen?

Imogen: Actually, I am telling you that I want to name it Rebecca.

July 13, 2010

Imogen: I want to draw some pictures, Mum.

Me: Sounds great. I'll get the markers.

Imogen: The first thing I'm going to draw is my very most favourite tulip potato.

Monday, July 12, 2010

July 12, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, I just love this tomato sauce. You are the best tomato sauce maker ever.

Me: Um, thanks Imogen. Why are you making that face if you like the sauce?

Imogen: Because it's gross.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

July 11, 2010

Mummy, maybe when our car gets a little bit tired of being blue, we can paint it with lots of rainbows.

Monday, July 5, 2010

July 5, 2010

Imogen and I eavesdropped on the following conversation in a pet store today:

Man: So you mean none of these pets do tricks?

Pet Store Employee: No sir. Rodents and reptiles don't typically do tricks.

Man: Not even this one? (pointing to a gerbil.)

Employee: No sir, none of them do tricks.

Man: What about this one (pointing to another gerbil.)

Employee: No, none of these animals will do tricks.

Man: My daughter is 6 and I only want an animal that will do a trick.

Employee: In that case, you might need to consider adopting a cat or a dog from the shelter.

Man: What about this one? (pointing to the same gerbil as earlier)

Imogen, loudly: Mummy, I think that man is really stupid and should learn his own tricks.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4, 2010

Imogen: Do you want to hear me be a crazy rooster?

Friend: Sure!

Imogen: Oink, oink!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

July 3, 2010

Mummy, I want to be the the leader, okay? I'm running ahead. And you have to be the behinder.

Friday, July 2, 2010

July 2, 2010

Imogen, on Toy Story 3:

Mummy, that is one eNORmous movie that Athena-bear's uncle made. And I loved it so much. That's because it was so funny like Athena-bear's daddy. I liked it when the peas were in Mr. Potato Head's butt. I think David told his brother that part. That's because David thinks peas in butts are funny too.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

July 1, 2010

Imogen: Merry Christmas Mum!

Me: Imogen, it's actually Canada Day.

Imogen: Merry Christmas and Happy Canada Day, Mum!

Family members who were much amused by Imogen's insistence on today being Christmas also got her wishing people Happy Easter. I guess since we're not very patriotic, it doesn't much matter. Imogen is happy as heck that it's Christmas, although a little annoyed that we have neither stockings nor a tree...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

June 30, 2010

Mum, I don't like this grilled cheese sandwich. You forgot the peanut butter.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

June 29, 2010

Mummy, I told Dave that I want to have two mummies-- you and Belle. But actually, I want Belle and Mulan. They're better than you.

Monday, June 28, 2010

June 28, 2010

Imogen, whilst seated on the toilet: I don't think my poos want to come out of my bum, Mum. They just want to hang out in there and read the newspaper.

Me: Oh Immy, you are too funny! Where did you hear that?

Imogen, tapping her forehead: I heard it all right here inside my own head.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

June 27, 2010

Imogen: When boys grow up, they have to get married. When girls grow up, they have to go to university. And when kitties grow up, they have to get dead and be in the museum.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

June 26, 2010

Imogen, looking at world map: Mum, where's Belize?

Me, pointing: Here, right near Mexico.

Imogen: Oh.

~long pause~

Imogen: Mum, I don't think I want to go to Belize anymore. It's smaller than my finger.

June 25, 2010

Me: Julius, please don't eat the dirt.

Imogen: Mum, I think it would be nice if you let him do what he wants.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

June 24, 2010

I'm back. Something so great happened at the park that is so appropriate for posting on this blog, and so appropriate for posting on this blog RIGHT NOW that I just have to share.

We arrived at the park to find three boys, aged about 10, playing on the swings. My kids went straight to the baby swings and I lifted them in. Julius began his very loud, very high-pitched squeals of delight. A few minutes later a woman entered the park, alone, clearly looking for the source of the sound.

Woman: Oh, I thought someone was hurt when I heard that screaming.

Me: No, he's just exuberant in his delight.

Woman: Oh, isn't that nice. I don't think I've heard such a scream from a child before and it just worried me. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.

Me: That was really nice of you. He's fine. He has autism, so he expresses himself a little differently.

Woman: Oh, I see. Well, I'm glad everyone is okay. Have a great night!

Me: You too!

Imogen: You too!

Boy on swing: Did you say he has asthma?

Me: No, autism, it's...

Boy: What's that?

Imogen: It means that me and my brother are very special and a lot of fun and really the best ever.

Boy: Cool. You can play with us.

Now doesn't that warm your heart on a million different levels???

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

June 23, 2010

This blog is very new to the the blogosphere. But I'm nonetheless taking a pause from regularly scheduled programming (ie. fun quotes from my incredible Imogen) to ask for some advice.

Imogen was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder today. I'm not sure if I should continue posting-- do you think it's disrespectful to her if I post the things she says that make us (you and me) laugh? Is it fair to her? Are we laughing at her expense or with her future self? I don't think I'm laughing at her... but I want some input. I want to hear what you think. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to keep posting or not. I'd really, really love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks in advance, everyone.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

June 20, 2010

Mummy, I have some very good news. That is because I decided that we can have some chocolate covered-up pretzels for supper. I know you are happy about this.

June 19, 2010

Mummy, that is called the High. Level. Bridge. And that is where my dad crashed his bike and broke his head. He was a big mess and there was blood all over everywhere. I love that bridge.

Friday, June 18, 2010

June 18, 2010

Imogen: Let's make mango popsicles.

Me: Okay, that sounds like fun.

Imogen: First we need a shopping list. We need parsley and oil and capers and salt...

Me: You need parsley and oil for your your mango popsicles?

Imogen: Don't be silly. That's for the grape popsicles.

Me: So the capers and salt are for the mango popsicles?

Imogen: No!!! Those are for the apple sauce. Silly Mummy, you're teasing me.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

June 16, 2010

Imogen: I can't wait to eat my blueberry and rhubark crumble that I made.

Me: Me either! You did a great job with it. Can you say 'rhubarB'?

Imogen: Yes. But I don't want to. How about I say 'rhubarF?'

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

June 15, 2010

Me: Imogen, what would you like for dinner?

Imogen: Mirrors.

Me: Mirrors? Like, the things in which you see yourself?

Imogen: That's the only kind of mirrors there is, Mummy. I want them with ketchup and mayonnaise.

We had corn on the cob instead.

Monday, June 14, 2010

June 14, 2010

At the museum today, whilst gazing thoughtfully at dinosaur skeletons, Imogen came up with this gem. Her dad will LOOOOOOVE it.

Mummy, do you know how I know that my Dad is older than the dinosaurs? That's because the dinosaurs don't have all that grey hair that my Dad has.

Friday, June 11, 2010

June 11, 2010

5am. Imogen beside my bed: Mummy, is Grandad a real catch-fisher?

Me (looking for answer that will please her and send her back to bed, though having no clue what she's talking about): Yes.

Imogen: Oh good. Then tomorrow he can take me to Belize to buy a new ring!

She didnt' go back to bed. She crawled in with me and talked about her catch-fisher Grandad til I agreed to get up at 6am.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

June 10, 2010

Imogen, calling out from the bathroom:

Mama, I need a little snack. If I have a cracker, it will help me squeeze the poo out.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

June 9, 2010

I know what this library needs! Bumper boats!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

June 8, 2010

When I was little, I used to have a penis. But it was so boring.

Friday, June 4, 2010

June 4, 2010

Mummy, Julius is going to send you to the madhouse. And also me too. I hope it's the one in Lost Angeles so we can go to Disneyland.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

June 2, 2010

Me: Imogen, what do you want for dinner?

Imogen: Salad with spinach, roka (arugula/rocket,) orange tomatoes, apples, and oranges. And don't forget the balsamic.

Me: You want balsamic?!?

Imogen: I didn't say I want it; I said don't forget it. Why aren't you listening?

Monday, May 31, 2010

May 31, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, you make my heart happy.

Me(melting): You make my heart happy too, Imogen!

Imogen: You don't have a heart, Mummy.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

May 30, 2010

Imogen: All my beautiful snow is gone. It's a terrible day.

Me: Have you LOOKED outside? There's still snow and more falling.

Imogen: It's not the same, Mummy. I loved the yesterday snow; this snow is boring.

Friday, May 28, 2010

May 28, 2010

After two months away from Turkey and several tastings of local deli olives:

These Canadians just know nothing about olives.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

May 25, 2010

Mummy, do you know my soccer team is called The Tigers? But actually we are not real tigers. That's because we do ballet and real tigers only hula dance.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

May 29, 2010

Mummy, do you know that Baby Beluga has autism? That's why she's my best friend.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

May 19, 2010

Imogen, while gazing out the window at the dandelion-dominated lawn:

"Oh Mummy, look! There's rows and rows of flowers! My dream came true!"

Friday, May 14, 2010

May 14, 2010

I know Mama, when we get a dog, we can name it Funsquirt.

Friday, May 7, 2010

May 7, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, can you say 'Can you whistle, Imogen?'

Me: Can you whistle, Imogen?

Imogen (angrily): My name is Minnie Mouse!

Monday, May 3, 2010

May 3, 2010

Imogen has abundant songwriting skills and impressive vocal talent.

Recent masterpieces include, "My poo feels cold in the toilet water," and "Sometimes foxes prefer not to eat squirrels."

Friday, April 30, 2010

April 30, 2010

Tanis (babysitter): What's your middle name Immy?

Immy: The Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. Silly Tanis.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

April 28, 2010

Mummy, you look after these domim... domimin... domi... you look after these number things and make sure Julius doesn't eat them. I'll take care of the jaguar.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

April 22, 2010

Imogen, staring at her bowl of (requested) peas:

Come on, peas. Auntie Jenny and Fred are coming over soon and you don't get to play with them unless you are in Imogen's tummy.

Monday, April 19, 2010

April 19, 2010

Mummy, I think we need to buy a net so we can catch my cold.

Friday, April 16, 2010

April 14, 2010

Imogen, to her Nanny (grandma):

Your breast looks like an eagle.

Monday, April 5, 2010

April 5, 2010

Me: Imogen, here's the sheep; come pet the sheep.

Imogen: I can't pet the sheep, my tooth fell out and it's in my hand.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

April 4, 2010

Imogen's version of Buzz Lightyear's line:

To insanity, and beyond!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

April 3, 2010

Mummy, I am mixing my candies like fruit salad. It's nice to make fruit salad with candies because candies are yummier than fruit.

Friday, April 2, 2010

April 2, 2010

Me: Soon the Easter Bunny will come for a visit.

Imogen: Don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing as an Easter Bunny. There's only an Easter Kangaroo.

Monday, March 29, 2010

March 29, 2010

Mummy, you need to kiss my flowers goodnight. I put them in my backpack so they can have a good sleep.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

March 27, 2010

Imogen has wanted to try a banana split for a long time. Today, at Dairy Queen, she had one. Her response:

Mummy, I don't like this banana. Or this split.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

March 3, 2010

Playing with Disney figurines acquired in Disneyland Paris:

My God Goofy! What in the heck of this world are you doing?

Monday, March 1, 2010

March 1, 2010

Me: The doctor is just going to take a picture with his special camera to get a look inside your arm at your bones.

Imogen: Don't be ridiculous Mummy, there's no bones in there. Only food.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

February 25, 2010

Do you know kitties eat dogs? I don't know about kitties eating dogs. Maybe they do. Or maybe they eat horses? Which one, Mum?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

February 24, 2010

Imogen: I like this banana; it's just like a watermelon.

Me: Huh?

Imogen: Okay, maybe more like a kiwi... or maybe like chicken.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

February 23, 2010

Pointing at a child she's just encountered at the playground:

Do you know that little girl speaks Teletubby? And Turkish? Yes, that is what she does. She also pees.

Monday, February 22, 2010

February 22, 2010

I know what I will name my dog-- BumKick. That's a nice name for my dog.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

February 18, 2010

Mum, I'm always going to be a carpet muncher.

In Imogen's imogenation, carpet bread is the more accurate way to name wraps.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

February 17, 2010

Mum, do you know that Teletubbies always give kisses to children? To everyone. And sometimes to lobsters, but not always.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

February 16, 2010

Imogen's description of printing a 'q':

First you go around forever and then go sliding way down to oblivion.

Monday, February 15, 2010

February 15, 2010

Vulva is not a good name for my hoo-hoo. I think I will call it Hugo.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

February 13, 2010

Mummy, do you know that foxes climb trees so they can lick dirty apples?

Friday, February 5, 2010

February 5, 2010

Imogen: Mummy, where is Mesopotamia?

Me: I didn't learn that word til 1st year university.

Imogen: Are you going to tell me where it is?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

February 2, 2010

Mummy, if I see the rat I will run away as fast as I can and yell, "Rescue me, Mummy!" and then you'll save me and kill that bastard.

Yes, we have a rat in our kitchen.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

January 12, 2010

Me: Let's do some learning.

Imogen: I don't want to learn.

Me: What do you want to do?

Imogen: I want to read and do math puzzles.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

February 6, 2010

I don't think I want to sit on a bike. How about a bicycle, that would suit me much better, I think.

Monday, January 4, 2010

January 4, 2010

Holding up her pez dispenser:

Mummy, I want some Cinderella booby candy.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

January 3, 2010

Mum, when I was a little girl I used to say, "I want to play with my toys" and you used to say, "be quiet and go to sleep!"

Saturday, January 2, 2010

February 1, 2010

When I was little, I used to say, "I want some gummy tomatoes" because I wanted to say gummy snakes but it was too hard.